5 Things People Overreacted To:
1. Cougar Town
This show turned out to be kind of funny and totally in on its own joke! I used Cougar Town as a punching bag before I saw it, if only for the whimsical font they used for the word “sexy” on its ads, but once I saw it was Scrubs on the beach, I calmed down and moved on. Critics who ripped into its stereotypes after seeing the pilot’s pudding proof just seemed like they’d never seen a sitcom before.
So many young people in this country are growing up with Meth Face and Jimmy Carter teeth, but it’s okay; there’s plenty of room on-camera for all of them.
3. Food, Inc.
I know I’d probably agree with every last upsetting thing thing Food, Inc. has to say if I sat through it, but I read Fast Food Nation and Omnivore’s Dilemma last year and I’m done thinking about food unless I’m figuring out how to double a recipe for cake—because OMG, twice as much cake! Also, a lady I met in the spring told me she didn’t think it was maybe the wrong time to put out a movie like this, despite the bad economy because she said that if poor people spent more money on organic food, they wouldn’t have to pay high healthcare bills later for things like diabeetus and cancer. She seemed really smart!
It’s menopause porn with a Denise Richardian title, and I’m game if anyone wants to play a drinking game whenever Meryl takes on or puts off her glasses, talks about her ‘dream kitchen,” or gets a compliment, but good for Nancy Meyers (who co-wrote Private Benjamin and Baby Boom, bich pleeeeeeze) for writing a pretty funny movie about a loveable lady the same age as the dudes she is boinking. And if any of you revisit Woody Allen’s 80’s oervre, you’ll find that those movies are basically It’s Complicated for men. Remember in Crimes & Misdemeanors when Angelica Huston makes a point of telling her ancient lover, Martin Landau, how he’s in such great shape? It’s the same thing as Steve Martin drooling to Meryl Streep, “Your age is one of my favorite things about you!” So, let our moms have their turn.
Fine, she’s fine! Leigh Bowery, blah blah, video for Bad Romance, fantastic. Look, she’s great. I know. A lot of us figured that out after hating her. Can we just stop talking about it now? I guess I’m just done with everybody’s “take” on her. Mine included. Shut up, me!
5 Things People Under Reacted To
This happened around the same time Rhianna was beaten up by Chris Brown, and even TMZ ran a disclaimer for its more “sensitive readers” (?) when they ran Rhianna’s photo. But for some reason having to do with infomercials being hilarious or hookers not being pop stars, when the Shamwow guy beat up a prostitute, it was a reeeeeal chucklefest on the blogs. Way to go, everybody! (Not really way to go).
I can’t even talk about it yet. And please don’t belittle our loss by shoving Bea under that dumb "Summer of Death" meme umbrella. She was just such a legend, and nobody could land a joke like she could, and there will never again be anyone like her, and now I’m crying. Great.
By far my favorite news story of the year (sorry, Beer Summit!). A man in Vernon, New Jersey claimed a hungry black bear emerged from the woods, punched him so hard he lost consciousness, picked the tomatoes out of the Italian sub he was loading into his car trunk, devoured the sandwich, then vanished. When the New Jersey resident and sandwich aficionado came to, his sub and the bear were nowhere in sight. The lesson to take home is that everybody needs to guard their Caesar Salads and white pizzas with extra zeal, because Sandwich Bear hates tomatoes.
Why aren’t people still talking about this? I guess it serves the guy right for showing up to the Tony Awards in the first place, and performing for some reason. Either way, as soon as post-injury Bret Michaels pix began replacing those awful Shamwow hooker battery photos, the internet and I were even.
My friend Tara told me about Milky Way’s new “Simply Caramel” bar, and it’s phenomenal. The way she described it was as though somebody took one of those square caramels you get in a Whitman’s sampler, and then stretched it to full candy bar size. What I’d add is that it also tastes like the kind of daydreams you had in summer camp when you were picked last to be on a newcomb team for a pre-lunch game and instead of cursing the fate of all of your peers, you decided to take your imagination to a happier place, in which you were no longer an adolescent, and chocolate bars had the kind of caramel that’s bite-y and not slurp-y. No offense, Caramello? Caramello: “None taken!”