March 2010
66 posts
The Doree Chronicles: thingsiatethatilove: ... —... →
thingsiatethatilove:
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The smug self-righteousness of the young parent doesn’t hold a candle to the smug self-righteousness of the confirmed childless bachelor. Why Christian Lorentzen persists in thinking that the whole world, including the movie Greenberg, is conspiring to try and make…
A couple things from Christian Lorentzen’s n+1 essay worth refuting atop...
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Why did the NYT Magazine run an excerpt from The... →
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The New Dating Rules - Marie Claire →
I wrote this thing for MC.com! Thanks to Diana for putting it up, and for YOU for bearing with my Press Day 2000.
Writer Julie Klausner Knows the Secret to... →
My mug says “Queen of Fucking Everything,” btw.
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Julie Klausner on the Maddening Misogyny of... →
My pal Mike Sacks interviewed me for VF.com and I am excited I didn’t have to answer questions about what kind of shampoo and stationery I use!
(Pantene and post-its)
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My L.A. Itinerary Expandeth
Wednesday April 28th 7 PM Reading/ Signing Stories 1716 W. Sunset Blvd Los Angeles, CA
ALSO! PLEASE NOTE:
Four Days is now Tuesday 4/27 at 10 PM NO BACKSIES this time
julie klausner, will you please read and review... →
(via halinanewberrygrant)
Haha! I think I’m pleading The Gillette-Zulkey “Drag Race” Excuse, which is to say I’d only want to read JL-H’s book for pleasure, not for fodder.
Flicked Off: 'Greenberg,' or, Mean is the New Sad... →
As you know, my heart is made out of dogs.
Pretty ugly: Can we please stop pretending that... →
I feel like the most important part of this piece is how you can only make self-deprecating jokes about your character’s gluttony once you’re thin enough to be on camera. See Sadie’s Jezebel post: “The Skinny Glutton” (Thanks Hortense). Liz Lemon can joke about leaving a waffle in the DVD player because Tina Fey lost enough weight to play her.
This reminds me of...
Save The Date
Ronna & Beverly
UCB Theater LA
Friday April 30th
With Special Guests Julie Klausner and Somebody Famous
YOU ARE KVELLING
Tagged If You Must Cry: Lisa Kudrow’s episode of “Who Do You Think You Are?” (NOT THE SPICE GIRLS SONG, FAG) is tear-jerking Holocaust-y devastation. Also, it’s been said before, but there are few humans I love more than Lisa Kudrow.
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Important West Coast Thing
Tuesday April 27th 10 PM
FOUR DAYS
with Molly “Molls” McAleer Natasha “Rielle” Vargas-Cooper Julie “Organic Liason” Klausner
And also surprisez
M Bar 1253 Vine Street Los Angeles, CA 90038-1662
(323) 856-0036 Note the change of date, plz
Here is you finding out about this show:
Here is me checking Jet Blue’s rates:
My co-worker did me the favor of uploading my appearance on “The Joy Behar show,” so I could pitch a couple of morning show producers with visual evidence that I was an “eye-contacty” and “non-muttery” author who might do well on television.
So, yesterday, I sent out two grammatically correct, professionally friendly introductory emails along with links to the...
While everybody in my social network was loudly mourning the death of Alex Chilton online (no disrespect), last night brought a different crisis in the form of an unexpected Splenda shortage in the Klausner household.
Pictured: “NOOOO! Seal”
I got by with some Equal Granular, as I’m wont to do in a pinch, but I guess I’m just saying that God only gives us the terrible...
For the lesbian who eschews Crocs for being too... →
[Via BoingBoing]
OBVIOUSLY I AM ON BOARD WITH THIS
illuminations:
While Julie is a Jew with a thing for Easter candy, I am a gentile with a thing for Manischewitz coconut marshmallows. I propose a solution for us both: bunny shaped chocolate covered Manischewitz marshmallows.
Mother Russia: A Celebration
ME: My new dental hygienist is from MOTHER RUSSIA
JESSE: I really love Russia. I really think we need to talk about HEAD OF THE CLASS's trip to Russia more
ME: Nothing was more 80's than Russia. Do you know about FREE TO BE...YOU AND ME 2?
JESSE: NO
JESSE: NO
JESSE: NO
ME: It was the 80's SQUEAKWEL wherein Marlo just talked to elementary school kids in the US about how kids in Russia weren't different. And then the kids video-conferenced. And they asked each other questions like "Do you like blue jeans?" "I have a sister, do you have a sister?" It's like a Q&A for an hour and a half. No songs. No celebrities.
ME: OH WAIT--Penn & Teller are on it.
JESSE: I love finding common ground. Like on things like "do you like jeans"
ME: Denim is universal
JESSE: I think we should start wearing Hypercolor.
ME: Oh totally. Those were worth every penny
JESSE: If you breathed on them they changed color
ME: What happened if you washed them in the machine?
JESSE: They, like, faded
ME: Also, Communism collapsed
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Upcoming Appearances
Including L.A.! Albany! D.C.! More soon!
Please come by and give me hugs.
x
Thursday, March 18th 7:30 PM Steamboat Reading Series Greenlight Bookstore 686 Fulton Street Brooklyn, NY Wednesday, March 24th 8pm How I Learned Reading Series with Daniel Nester, Stefan Merrill Block & Justin Taylor at Happy Ending 302 Broome Street between Forsyth and Eldridge Saturday April 10th 4:45 PM Humor...
The next six hours were a modern fairy tale, during which Lee called her mother...
– The Frank Bruni piece on Katie Lee Joel in today’s New York Times Magazine is worth pulling yourself away from the “Mommy Blogs and Branding” article for.
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I’m back from Miami and home in NYC, which is having a big fat weather temper tantrum with tears and everything. It’s not as bad here as it is in Westchester. My mother told me that Scarsdale has declared itself in a state of emergency, and how that could be a good comedy routine for me to riff on. A Scarsdale state of emergency? That’s when the Starbucks near the train station...
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In case you're not sick of reading interviews with... →
Audra Schroeder wrote a great thing for The Austin Chronicle. So many “Au’s” in that sentence it is basically gold.
Yesterday we saw a manatee and today we snorkeled and there was pie after, and the hotel has huge tubs, so you know. I wonder what the poor people are doing; only “poor” in this case actually just means “not here” and “people” actually means “me, only five days ago, when I was still spasmed by stress and cold, and not nearly as full of pie.”
I named...
You know you’ve ordered too much sushi when the lady at the register asks you how many pairs of chopsticks you’ll be needing. Related: my extremely relatable “You know you’ve ordered too much sushi when…” comedy routine will eclipse Jeff Foxworthy’s career.