Caroline confided, with the casualness of somebody who wasn’t ashamed, that she doesn’t need Botox, because she shaves her “entire face and throat” in the shower every day. (She called her neck her “throat,” by the way, which was a little too “Sweeney Todd” for comfort, and a secret hat-tip to Nora Ephronizo’s upcoming book of humorous essays interspersed with pasta recipes, “I Feel Bad About My Throat.”)
People—esp. straight dudes—who rip into “Sex and the City 2” with the full throttle vitriol, teeth and fangs of somebody trying to take down an empire don’t realize they look like dusty old Connecticut tea-sippers ranting and raving about how stupid “The Flintstones” is.
"SATC2" is the one feature-length cartoon somehow gayer than "The Fox & The Hound," and to do anything but laugh at it, throughout its seventeen-hour running time, is to lick and stick your "I don’t get kitsch" card so it faces out on your forehead. You can still say it’s bad! Just please smile while you do? Or at least work the garment you’re wearing so we’re all on the same page.
“Well, Samantha’s ex, Smith, had a photo shoot there for this movie he did, even though they could have easily photoshopped that poster: he was just, like, standing in front of sand. Anyway, he called her and she did his PR for the movie, so the hotel….um…wait. There was a hotel? The people who worked for the hotel were at the movie premiere. So then, they went to the hotel. Not Smith and Samantha, just the girls. Because then we never saw Smith again after that.”—Me explaining to Jack how the stars of “Gashtar” wound up in Abu Dhabi
1. “I thought you were your own woman” —Danielle, leaving Jacqueline a voicemail
Despite whatever illusion of resolution existed after last season’s reunion show, it turns out the rift between Danielle and the Manzo family plus Teresa CAN indeed be mined for more drama, if only because it must. In this episode, Jacqueline sends Danielle’s daughter Christine a bouquet of flowers to make up for skipping out on Danielle’s party celebrating Christine’s magazine cover. Danielle, who is baffled by Jacqueline’s regret-tinged belated gesture, leaves her a menacing voicemail expressing her confusion as to where they stand as friends. “I thought you were your own woman,” she says provocatively, referencing her suspicion that Jacqueline didn’t attend her party out of deference to her sisters-in-law, The Manzos, who, in case you needed reminding, hate Danielle like she was made out of some mythical substance that destroyed ravioli.
If you want to model your Tuesday morning after mine for some reason, start by eating ham out of the package for breakfast. Then, watch last night’s RHONJ online and send an emergency donation to the Save The Manatee fund. Apparently, there are “tar balls” in The Keys by now, and that’s all I can say without crying, though my emotions may or may not have to do Danielle’s disturbing taste in kitchen ceramics.
Please click this link for the former and this one for the latter. And good luck with the ham.
The stereotype undoubtedly has anti-Semitic undertones, but when it’s used within the Jewish community as elsewhere, it can function as a cudgel against women who are considered too loud or too demanding. Spoiled economic dependency is tacked onto this. In other words, you don’t need to buy or be able to afford a $27,000 prom dress to qualify, although it helps. Really, all you have to do is be a little too pushy, a little too… much.
I’ve had this book, Fighting to Become Americans by Riv-Ellen Prell, sitting on my bookcase for a while. I started it a while ago but got caught up in something else. She goes into the origin of the JAP stereotype and how it has affected Jewish gender relationships and it’s all pretty interesting, really, so maybe I should try finishing it someday.
CBS Sunday Morning ran “Mother’s Day” segments on both Erma Bombeck AND Sandra Boynton, which leads me to believe that somebody over there knew that Midwestern moms & the gay men who share their tastes would need some kind of postpartum relief the morning after Betty White hosted SNL. Good call, guyz.